Is it time to divorce?

Readers of this blog have read a lot of posts about the legal side of divorce, and some on the emotional side of divorce. However, what many unhappy people are looking for are ways to know when it is time to divorce.

Soul searching

Before looking for signs, look inside. Everyone’s breaking point is different, and every couple has different reasons for divorcing. This is why the first step is to seek individual and couples counseling to figure out why the couple is unhappy. Doing this work before a divorce is important because, maybe it saves the marriage, but more importantly, it can help the spouses understand why it did not work. This knowledge can help spouses avoid the same mistakes in the future.

Abuse

Of course, if there has been abuse, there is no need to do soul searching. Get out now. This can be verbal, physical or emotional abuse. However, verbal and emotional abuse may be harder to identify, so therapy can also help.

Life paths are diverging or divergent

People can grow apart, and they can simply be on two different paths. Once the honeymoon phase is over, this is when couples, hopefully, prior to marriage, talk about their deal-breakers. These are the non-negotiables in their life. It could be kids, where to live, anything. It is whatever one needs to live a fulfilling life. If a couple is unhappy, have this conversation of what they need to feel fulfilled because sometimes, these dealbreakers mean that a couple should not be together. For example, it is simply not fair to ask someone to never have children, if they have wanted children their entire life.

The marriage itself is the cause of the stress

After couples have gone through counseling, they may find that the heart of their misery is the marriage itself. If that is the case, then that is a big sign that it is time to divorce. Sometimes, protecting one’s own mental health means divorce.

The intimacy is gone

For some Lakeland, Florida, couples, even with counseling, they can never find that spark of intimacy again. And, once that is gone, the marriage is likely over as well. Indeed, according to studies, over 50% of divorcees say that a lack of or loss of intimacy is what killed their marriage.